STOP AVOIDING CONFLICT

“Built for struggle, us humans beings are.” - Jordan B. Peterson


Most of the struggles I dealt with in my life, were brought on by myself because I avoided conflict. If you’ve read the blog, DON’T BE REACTIVE, you’ll know it’s because of the lizard brain.


Easier said than done. Believe me, I’m aware of it. I’ve been on this journey for three years now and I have no plan to stop. If you practice something for seven years straight, you can officially call yourself an expert. I’ve dedicated my life to helping beta-men become an alpha-male. The trick is you got to want to.


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I had no choice. Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome, is madness. Playing the blame game, or looping through life. If I didn’t do what I did, I would have carried my destructive behavior into every other relationship in the future.


The first step to making the switch is to blame yourself. Internally, that is where most of your conflict exists. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. This is no way of say or portraying that I am better than other people, far from it.


You must go where people won’t, or you’ll get to where people have already got.


What were the things that I didn’t like about myself? There was a lot I didn’t like about myself. Some of those things, my friends and family loved about me. They either noticed and didn’t say anything, or they criticized me to my face. The devaluing looks and whispers thrown my way are part of the process.


The transformation could be compared to life-changing surgery. You have the problem, you figure out the right treatment, you go under the knife, endure the healing process, and attend the physical therapy.


It sucks.


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When you find yourself in HELL, keep moving forward.


There were those times where I wanted to give up. What I went through mentally and emotionally, made me question all of it. What is it? It would be life. I needed help, but the help I needed couldn’t be given by anybody. It needed to come from myself.


I learned that my beta-self was in control and he needed to go. If you read, THE KILLING OF YOUR BETA-SELF, in that blog I talk about the first steps I took in defeating myself. I don’t think I talked about the mourning I felt after I killed him.


It was exhausting and some nights I cried myself to sleep. If I told people what I did when it happened, they would tell me that I was fine just the way I was. Only that wasn’t true. It was my beta-self that got me into trouble.


I sometimes picture myself strangling a fat, pathetic, bearded version of myself. I’m on top of myself and my hands are around my neck. My hands and legs are flailing around as I try to stop myself, but I know I’ve come to the point of no return. It was either I made the switch, or do it all over again, just to suffer the same outcome.


It had to happen. It did happen.


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Time is the most valuable thing you can give a person. No love or money can compare to the time you give someone. You’ll never get your time back.


I hate when my time gets wasted.


Avoiding conflict is a waste of time. It’s a waste of time because you’re not looking at conflict as an opportunity. The trauma I went through was my opportunity to finally make a change for the good.


It’s was very selfish of me to do what I did. It was the best thing I ever did.


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It gave my new life meaning.


In a way, it helped me become a better father to my son. Kids imitate what their parents do and repeat what their parents say. I don’t want my son to grow up and become the beta-male I once was. It would waste his time and he will suffer the consequences.


There will always be hardships, but there will be fewer of them now.


When my son goes through something similar in his life, I can actually help him. Instead of soothing him with meaningless sorry’s and broken systems.


I know my son is observing me, because one time I asked him what he wanted to be when he grows up, and he told me he doesn’t want to be a beta. I never laughed so hard in my life. It was a proud father moment.


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